The Impact of Loneliness and How to Combat it
By: Emma Lager, Graduate Student Counseling Intern
Have you ever felt alone, even though you are surrounded by people? What about laying awake at night feeling the weight of loneliness in your chest? Loneliness isn’t just about being physically alone but the dreadful feeling of isolation. It’s lacking deep emotional connection. Humans were not created to be alone. We were made to have relationships and community. Relationships and community lead to the hope and inspiration we all need to conquer our daily tasks and be our authentic selves. You aren’t yourself when you’re lonely.
Chronic feelings of loneliness can lead to depression, anxiety, and physical health issues. Lacking social support can make it harder to manage stress and lead to low mood, hopelessness, and a decline in motivation. Studies also show that chronic loneliness can be linked to high blood pressure, heart disease, and a weakened immune system. The last significant effect of loneliness includes a decline in cognitive function and can even increase the risk of dementia.
How does chronic loneliness happen? First, the growing use of technology and social media comes with many great ways to stay connected with people. However, our social media connections create superficial interactions that aren’t as genuine or connective as traditional ways to connect. We also tend to compare ourselves to others on social media, which can intensify feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Next, more people are working remotely from home, which leads to fewer in-person interactions. Another cause of loneliness includes significant events such as moving, retirement, or losing a loved one. Lastly, depression and anxiety can make it difficult to reach out and maintain relationships, which in turn causes more loneliness, which increases depression and anxiety, leading to a vicious cycle.
So, how do we start combatting loneliness? The biggest thing to remember is intentionality. Combatting loneliness means you may have to be very intentional about reaching out to people and choosing the right people to reach out to. You can start by reaching out and strengthening existing relationships. Start a conversation, even if it’s just a quick text or phone call, and reach out to friends or family members with whom you feel would be safe to connect. Be intentional about seeking out new opportunities. You could join a group, club, or gym, join local events, or volunteer somewhere. Volunteering is a great way to feel a sense of purpose and belonging; maybe volunteer to walk dogs at a local shelter. You could even adopt a pet to combat loneliness! Next, make sure you are using technology mindfully. Make sure you are prioritizing in-person interactions over spending more time on your screens. Lastly, consider therapy. Therapy can help you develop self-care activities that fill your cup, and it can help you establish connections with others including your therapist. You may even consider group therapy to meet other people who are similar.
Remember, we weren’t meant to navigate life all on our own. Loneliness serves as a poignant reminder that we need others to nurture our well-being. I wholeheartedly encourage you to intentionally seek out connections with those who bring you a sense of safety. You don’t deserve the heavy weight of loneliness; you deserve the warmth of connection, the light of hope, and the joy of happiness.
Some resources for combatting loneliness and getting connected:
Some cool apps:
- Bumble BFF
- Meet My Dog
- Wink
- Meet up
Support Groups:
- NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)
- Alcoholics Anonymous
- Narcotics Anonymous
- Overeaters Anonymous
Call/Text Lines
- 988 (can be used for more than just safety issues!)
- 741-741
Other Places to Look for Connection
- Churches
- Parks
- Community Centers
- Volunteer Organizations
References
Cacioppo, J. T., & Cacioppo, S. (2018). The growing problem of loneliness. The Lancet, 391(10119), 426. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(18)30142-9
Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 40(2), 218–227. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-010-9210-8