By Anne Mercer, LPC, Doors of Hope Counseling
As I collaborate with different clients I ask the question, what is your life story? The story of who you are, what hats do you wear, do you know who you are underneath your those? If you stopped and listened to your story that may be going on in your head, what is it? It is in there somewhere. You can discover yourself in therapy through the power of your story.
Let’s start by talking about what do I mean by “different hats?” As we go through life our story has different meanings depending on where you start. You could be a hero, a victim, a lover, a warrior, a caretaker, a believer. It is how you adapt to that story, how you revise, rethink, and rewrite your personal narrative as things change, lurch, or go wrong in your life.
If you take off all the different hats that you wear, who are you? Do you know? The narrative of our story can lose its plot. Distraction from mishaps, foul-ups, or hiccups in the road that appear in our lives can happen. The changes that happen, we usually have no control over. It is the way that we manage those changes that makes the difference.
Traditionally, we go from childhood to young adulthood, to middle age, to old age. We can date, get married, have children, become empty nesters. We can start in a low-level job and make our way up to senior-level job to retirement. As we go through these changes there will be conflict, an unforeseen event that might happen. Many of us do not know how to manage these events. We move through them, do what others tell us to do, and move forward without dealing with it.
What I have been discussing are transitions of life. Our narrative of our life has different transitions than the next person. How we go through those transitions and take care of ourselves through them is what matters. Transitions will not go away. We should not turn away from them or fear them, we need to be the heroes of them.
As a therapist, I use narrative therapy as part of my counseling to help you discover yourself through your stories. I hear your story and help you untangle the events that have kept you from moving forward in your life. Between raising children, watching them leave the nest and grow on their own, welcoming grandchildren, as well as helping our aging parents, we can become overwhelmed with our live
By sharing our stories and letting a therapist help you through the sharing, we enrich the meaning of the ABCs of our stories. A is stories empower us. Telling your story, working through the times that were difficult for you will empower you to get up and continue. B is stories connect us. As we discuss our story we develop a sense of belonging. There is power in telling stories, hearing stories, but the greater power is to unravel the hiccups in the story that holds us back. C is stories inspires us. By telling your story you will have more purpose, be more focused, as well as having a cause.
Be prepared to go away from therapy with a new meaning of life for yourself. What is your life story to share? How can therapy help you discover yourself by sharing your story?
“I myself am still learning how to be me and that’s OK. It can take a really long time to become the person you really want to be. Be who you are. It’s the greatest gift we can give to ourselves, our community, and our world.” Maria Shriver
Anne Mercer is currently seeing clients in Overland Park. Make an appointment with her today by emailing Anne.doorsofhope@gmail.com