Written by Kelsey Bartrum, Graduate Student Counseling Intern
A reality of OCD that is important to understand and accept is that the mind may produce stickier, louder, more persistent thoughts. Acceptance is about changing your relationship to these thoughts, not eliminating them. Acceptance can be a tricky skill to grasp, so let’s spend some time learning more about what acceptance means and what it looks like in action for those who live with a sticky mind.
First, it’s important to understand that people with OCD don’t have more dangerous thoughts, they have a mind that sticks. OCD is less about what shows up in your mind and more about how long it stays, how loud it feels, and how urgent it seems. This isn’t a personal flaw. It’s simply how your brain processes the world.
What “Sticky Thoughts” Mean
Sticky thoughts are:
- repetitive
- emotionally charged
- hard to dismiss
- linked to uncertainty
- triggered by things that matter to you
Having sticky thoughts does not mean:
- you agree with them
- you want them
- they say anything true about you
It means your brain struggles to let go once it detects potential threat.
Acceptance vs. Fighting OCD
Now, let’s explore what acceptance is. Acceptance means opening up to our uncomfortable or painful internal experiences rather than fighting them. It’s allowing unwanted thoughts, feelings, and sensations to be present without trying to control them, suppress them, or change them. Acceptance means being a mindful observer about our urges and feeling them without trying to control them.
Fighting OCD Looks Like:
- trying to prove thoughts wrong
- seeking certainty
- arguing with your mind
- performing compulsions for relief
- monitoring whether thoughts are gone
These strategies make sense, but they teach the brain that the thoughts are important.
Acceptance Looks Like:
- allowing thoughts to be present
- noticing without responding
- letting uncertainty exist
- choosing behavior based on values
- measuring progress by freedom, not calmness
Acceptance says: “This thought can be here, and I don’t have to do anything about it.”
An ACT Perspective on OCD
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) teaches that suffering increases when we organize life around getting rid of thoughts instead of surrendering thoughts/fears and living meaningfully with them present.
For OCD, this means:
- expecting thoughts to return
- stopping the fight
- reducing the power of urges
- increasing psychological flexibility
The goal is not a quiet mind, it’s a free life.
What Acceptance Is (and Is Not)
Acceptance IS:
- realistic
- empowering
- active
- values-based
Acceptance is NOT:
- liking OCD
- giving up
- believing thoughts are true
- resigning to suffering
Acceptance restores choice. Trying to think your way out of OCD is like trying to smooth water with your hands…the harder you try, the more movement you create. Letting thoughts come and go, without engagement, teaches the brain they are not emergencies.
With acceptance-based OCD treatment, progress may look like:
- thoughts still showing up
- anxiety still rising
- urges still appearing
And:
- less time spent engaging
- faster recovery
- more time living
- more trust in your ability to cope
OCD doesn’t require a perfect mind, it requires a flexible one. You can live a full, meaningful life with sticky thoughts present. Acceptance isn’t about eliminating OCD; it’s about loosening its grip. Your mind may still produce sticky thoughts. You can allow them and still choose to live according to what matters to you.
If Parts of this Felt Familiar
If any of this resonates, know that you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. Awareness is often the first step toward change. Support can make a significant difference, especially with approaches that honor both compassion and change. Here at Doors of Hope we offer evidence-based treatments such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) to help loosen the grip of sticky thoughts. We’d be honored to walk alongside you and help you explore what it looks like to live a meaningful life even when sticky thoughts show up. We invite you to reach out today to learn more!